A while ago, things were different. I was different. Life was different. I was told to believe that amongst other I was different; that I was special, that god has given me a special gift, and my soul was a free spirit roaming this world.
But the wind never goes where the sailor hopes to. In life, we must taste the sour to enjoy the sweet. Everything has to go bad; all at once, so it can get better again. Not so far ago, I was at the place. I tasted the sour as though it was sweet, and I lived through a windy summer. The blood within my streams was rushing faster. No matter how much air I tried to inhale, I felt suffocating. I felt as though, I was held captive in a small room, and the walls kept on closing in.
The harder I tried to push the walls away, the weaker I became. Until I let loose and let go of my fears and worries. Everything suddenly stopped – all at once. I gave my silence a chance to be heard, and for once I could breathe again.
Though my mother always warned me of talking to strangers and meeting new people, I always loved knowing so many people. I always loved the diversity of culture, and how god created all these people on the same soil, under the same sun, and in the same planet.
I have it in me, to travel away with my thoughts to a world no one knows - My little sanctum of dreams. My dreams take me places I want to be in, puts me where I belong, and helps me realize where I have to be. I am nothing without my dreams.
My words describe me the most. The intensity of my verbs says a lot about me without me having to explain much at all. My words are my venting space – my therapist. I write like no other, and let my feeling flow right in front of me. I control my dark emotions and let go of them by words. I control my being through writing. My passion to writing is like a never ending love story between a mother and her first child. I am nothing without my words. I am everything with my words.
To me, there will never be anything more mesmerizing than the way the trees and the palms sway with the wind. The wind is nature’s melody - its silent song. I capture those moments in my head, and burry somewhere deep within, somewhere no one can reach. The simplicity of nature astounds me. Yet, with all the complications in it, I can’t stand but to be truly amazed by it all. I adore simplicity. I cannot live without positivity, and there will never be a better way to escape reality but through a long walk under the rain, or on the seashore.
I am deep. I am profound. I am sensitive. I am fragile. I am confident. I am optimistic. I am insightful. I am secure. I am safe. I am contented. I am happy. I am proud of who I am, and where I come from. I do what I do because I believe in what I do and I love what I love because I simply love to love. There is no puzzling feeling than the sparkle of love. Love is what keeps this world going and without love we are nothing. This whole nation is nothing. With love and peace however, we rise.
I may seem to display a platform mixed of contrast emotions. How I appeared to be a little happy and a little in pain, where else do these words come from?
They come from a world –within- full of every little piece of broken confidence, and every huge portrait of self pride. I may be a lot of things, but I am no quitter, and I will never let myself down, nor will I let those who believe in me down as well.
I aim to please that internal void, till it’s filled. Once it is, I will fall again, but once I do, I will start again. And the cycle of life continues, but I won’t stop trying.